Rating: 4 Stars ****
Reviewer purchase
Buy this book: Abraham Lincoln: Presidential Fuck Machine
Blurb: Few people know that Abraham Lincoln was the greatest fuck machine of all time. His sexual prowess is unmatched in the history of American presidents. When he gets word of a nefarious plot hatched by the insane Emperor of Japan, he must learn to use his most potent power--the power of his cock!
Little known facts about good ole Abe. He kills zombies and vampires. He is also...I mean this is probably pretty obvious...but he is also a Fuck Machine. The book opens with the Prez's woody. Rather than be rude and wake the old lady up he gets the maid, Martha, to relieve his rock hard, well, nine inch rod. Martha is such a good servant and deep throats that thing.
"Martha practically swooned when she saw it. 'May I....may I touch it?' she asked practically swooning at the sight. 'Dear girl, don't just touch it. I want you to swallow it.'"
She's also incredibly flexible. While on her knees with her mouth swallowing Abe, she manages to give him a view of what she is doing under her petticoats. Honestly, not sure how that works, but hey, it's a different time and everything. Maybe women had their vaginas higher up on their bodies. Or something....
Not only is Abe great with the ladies he's also great with his politician peers. When they walk in on Abe working over the Japanese turn coat, he gives them a good time too.
"Rather than risk embarrassment, I chose to brush off their incredulity and continue where I left off. I said: 'Now that you are here, you can learn why they call me Gaybraham Lincoln.'" The four men then enjoy each others company.
Prior to this scene we learn that Abe's tool is a umm...tool to stop the plot of the evil Japanese emperor who wants to blow up the moon. His "spunk" is a molten hot and able to travel far distances. It even gets confused with a comet. Amazing stuff.
This book is pretty much genius. From the cover, to the interior prose I was hooked. I feel like giving my dawgs a pound and saying "Abe is da man."
I love this funky and colorful erotic tales. Really I do.
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