Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Comfort Food: A read along: Chapter 3

Lola's Thoughts: In this Chapter Emily leaves the confines of the cell. But not before she is left to herself. Devoid of his touch. He doesn't even enter the room to feed her anymore. Just leaves the food.
She gives up dancing. She just wants to be done. She knows the more she resists the harder it will be for her.
Finally on the seventh day he comes in and tries touching her. She doesn't resist. She leans into him. He blindfolds her and takes her out of the room.
The POV changes as the touching escalates. This gives the reader a clearer view of what is happening. It also distances the reader from the violence. It is unclear if we are in her captors mind or just witnessing the "horror" in a sort of out of body experience.
She'd forgotten beds, what they were like, what pillows felt like against her flesh, or soft mattresses. She still wore the blindfold as he spread her legs apart, his fingers dipping into her and grinding against her heat. She was wet, so wet for him that she could hear it as his fingers pumped in and out of her in a chaotic rhythm. Then his mouth was on her sex, driving her on until she screamed. 
"Yes, please, please don't stop touching me." Her breathing became erratic as she crested over the wave of her orgasm. Release, sensation, pleasure after so much nothingness. Then he was inside her, still gentle, thrusting in a steady soothing rhythm, like the ocean waves beating on the shore. She felt his release and then he pulled out of her....
After she suddenly feels the need to cover herself. She refused to move until he told her she could move. He leaves the room. When he comes back he has a tray full of food. Turkey and all the fixings. Upon stuffing herself she looks around the room. She sees that everything that she could ever want is there. Her taste in books reflected on the shelves. Her size of clothes in the closet. A ballet studio is included. She feels like she has "sold herself for pretty things". She knows that he would keep her and keep her well if she would only give him her will.

Kitten's Thoughts:

Another week.  That's what pulling away cost me.  He didn't beat me or throw me down and force me; he just gave me another week.  This time it was worse.  It was worse because he denied me his physical closeness, touch.
Emily is breaking down and her captor is working to break her completely.  At least before, she could have some type of interaction with him, but now, there is nothing at all.  Soup continues to be her only meal, if you can even call it a meal at this point.  Hot showers are eliminated and instead she receives a daily pail of tepid water and soap to bathe over the drain.  Can you imagine?  This is such a mental torture.  I honestly think that his method would actually work better than any physical beating.  He isn't taking her body against her will.  He's turning her will into his.  Even her dreams are turning against her.  She doesn't dream about the outside anymore.  Instead, she dreams about him being in the cell with her.

When he finally returns to feed her himself once again, she not only willingly allows him to undress her, she does so eagerly.  So, she earns her reward...  She is taken to an actual bedroom where he spreads her legs easily, and...

She was wet, so wet for him that she could hear it as his fingers pumped in and out of her in a chaotic rhythm.  Then his mouth was on her sex, driving her on until she screamed."
After he gently takes her (yes, he was gentle), he leaves the room.  Does she move from where he left her?  Does she do anything at all?  No.  She wants to stay in the nice room, so she stays exactly where and how he left her.  Wouldn't you do the same or would you try the door?  How far would you be willing to push this non-speaking, non-reactionary (at least so far) man?  Besides, not only does her acceptance and capitulation earn her better living arrangements, but also food.  Real food.  Solid food.  Food with flavor.  Even dessert.

But, Emily is still "herself" enough to acknowledge what is happening...

What he wanted had been to break me so utterly that I would beg him to rape me, and I'd followed his plan to perfection.
But how could you think of yourself in those terms?  It's just too hard, but maybe she can pretend that's she's his wife or girlfriend... living in pampered surroundings not having to worry about bills or a job.  You can see how her mind is trying to deal with this.  Nothing can be done to change the circumstances, so how do we (mind, spirit, body) deal with it.  That's what's so twisted.  She knows what's going on.  She has studied psychology and Stockholm Syndrome.  She knows with no uncertainty how this will end.

He was setting it up so he didn't cause me pain; I caused it.  I caused it by rebelling.  All I had to do was give in, submit in mind and body and I would never be hurt again.
The rules are simple.  Say no, go back to the cell for who knows how long, maybe even die there.  Say yes, have a more comfortable life.  You already know that you're going to break.  You're half-way there or more already.  Why bother fighting?  Is it really worth it?  Women trade sex for things all the time, don't they?  He's handsome, rich and wants you (perhaps a bit obsessively, but still).  Why not just go with it?

And now thinking of all of this... Her lush surroundings, how he has taken care of every need she has,  how he would please her body like no other man ever could, she comes to a decision.

That was when I knew.  I had to kill him.

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