Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Comfort Food: A Read Along, Chapters 6 and 7

Chapter 6 begins with Emily being led to her own red room of pain and another choice.  Whips, canes, a metal table with handcuffs and more sex toys than a retail shop await her decision.  It isn't long coming:

He believed he could hide his soul from me by never speaking, but his actions told me everything I needed to know.  He wanted me to beg for the whip.  And I would do it.

Each implement used is shown to her for her consent prior to it's use.  Even through her terror at what will be done to her, she consents.  Still, the "choice" is hers, and she doesn't ask for the beating to stop.  Rather, she reaches a euphoria:
It was release, absolution.  The surrender, finally, of everything to him.  The acceptance that she was now his creature, not her own, and the inexplicable peace that brought her.
The fight is over and he has won, just as we all knew he would.

She earns her reward of the nice room and real food yet again... but he's not done with her yet.  He has other things he wants to do to her to bring her both pain and extreme pleasure.  Even through all of this, she still knows how he is twisting and manipulating her into being what he wants.
The only physical violence I'd experienced at his hands, I'd allowed him to do.  A bargain, an exchange to keep me out of the bad cell and win his good favor.  I was starting to feel safe with him.  He'd gone from being just my tormentor to being my tormentor and protector, though I needed protection from nothing but him.
Such a powerful and true statement "I needed protection from nothing but him."

In Chapter 7, Emily is starting to be grateful to her captor and arguing with herself over it the entire time:
He didn't have to give me the nice room and the studio and bathroom and all the luxuries these rooms held.  He didn't have to give me a window or the southern food one could put in their mouth.  He didn't have to ever give me any kind of pleasure.  I tried to hold onto the reality that it didn't make any of it okay, but I was having a harder time seeing that because my reality had been narrowed to him and the things he could make me feel.
He is her world now.  The beginning and end of her days.  The sun rises and sets with him and his wishes.  How can she do anything else, but try to please him?  He is beautiful to her.  Plus, he is being kind in ways, right?

Before he left Emily in Chapter 6, her Master gave her a notebook.  Communication!!!  Finally!!!  What will he say?  Will there be a reason given to her for her circumstances?  Will he profess his love for her?

Nothing of the sort.  It's his rules for her and the punishments should she not consent.  Guess what the punishment is?  Yes, going to the bad cell and each time would be longer than the one before it.  Seriously?   I guess this is one point in the book that I really don't "get" his motivation.  The reason he took her was to use her body as he wishes.  What's the point of keeping her in the bad cell for say 6 months or more (assuming she has a few bouts of "non-consent")?

Other than that, the notebook only provides her with instructions of how he wishes to be addressed and her daily rituals.

The next day, she follows his directions and another session in the dungeon is in order.  What else could happen to show her how she is now his and at his mercy...  Pictures of her taken in blinding passion while she's chained to the bed... and then more of her at she pleasure herself at his command.  He hangs these pictures in her room as a constant reminder of what she is now:
I went to one wall and ran my fingertips over the picture.  My legs were spread so wide, straining against the chains, the tip of the vibrator sticking out, my wetness glistening against my legs, and my face a cross between pleasure and torment.
 How would you react to seeing yourself in large, blown-up posters like that?  Do you rip them down?  Do you just not look?  What choice do you make?

Lola's thoughts:
In this chapter Emily has accepted her new Master. He takes her to a special room. A BDSM pleasure room. I believe most Fifty fans would know it as a Red Room.
It is a testament to how much of me he'd taken that I thought the bare cell was worse. He wouldn't leave me alone in this room. He would be there with me. It should have sickened me. It should have made me scream in terror, but all I could feel was relief. 
Wow. How fucked up is that? That what seems to be a very "vanilla" woman would be more comfortable in a room full of "torture" instruments with a man who is monster, than be by herself in an empty cell. Once again her master makes a mockery of her free will. He will only hit her if she "agrees" to it. She knows to not agree would result being locked in the bad cell again. Which she could not take. He strikes her with a riding crop. She cries out and he stops. She gives him permission to continue.
How had she allowed him to turn into something so ugly?

He moves on to whips. She cries, tears streaming down his face. She cries out, but does not beg him to stop.  She knows what she is doing she is surrendering everything to him. In the end she feels blood on her back. He gets a water, cloths, bandages, and ointment to treat her physical wounds. He finishes up and finishes by being gentle with her and shows her compassion.

 Chapter 7:
She is returned to the good cell. She is given a new book to study. But instead she goes to her ballet studio. She takes off her bandages to inspect the damage. He stopped as soon as he broke the skin.
She traces her fingers over where he put wax on her skin, spelling MINE. She wanted that brand to stay forever. She new that she had to accept everything from him if she wanted to keep her sanity.
She finally looks at the book he had given her. It was a notebook. The first real communication he had given to her. She was terrified to know what it says. The book contains rules and punishments. She had already figured out some of this on her own. The punishment was all the same. Going to the bad cell. It didn't matter what she did.
The next day she makes sure she follows the routine and protocol that he lays out for her in the book. Exactly. She knows not to do so would earn her several weeks in the bad cell.
She learns that she will only be punished if she "willfully disobeys him". If she "tries" to submit she will not be punished.
He then proceeds to bring her to the brink but not allow her to go over the edge. He cuffs her to the bed and takes pictures of her as she is in the midst of being sexually tortured.

He finally lets her come. Then leaves to prepare her breakfast and develop the pictures. She sees herself in agony and pleasure. 

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