Comfort Food: A Read Along: Chapters 8 and 9

Kitten's Thoughts:
Chapter 8

Months pass between Chapters 7 and 8, and we now join Emily 5 months later in her... I'm not quite sure what to call it now...  captivity?  life?  I'm really not sure at this point.  But there we are, 5 months later.  I was trying to think of how long now she has been with her Master.  It was early Spring when he took her, so maybe 10 months at this point?  Almost a year.  Almost a year with no tv, no radio, no internet, just Master and his wishes.  He does give her books of erotica to read.  So, basically, she lives nothing, but sex and any other way that she can entertain herself (other than touching herself -- definitely against the rules) while she waits for Master.

She is in no way the same Emily we met at the beginning:

By July, the photos had changed, like they weren't even me. Pain was dwarfed by pleasure, even when there were lash marks on my back, even on the occasions when there was blood. Whatever he did, it didn't matter. I wanted it all.

In the good cell the warm throbbing between my legs was almost constant.  It didn't matter what I was doing.  Dancing, bathing, painting my fingernails.  Because whatever I was doing, my thoughts rarely strayed far from him and memories of the last time he'd touched me.  If I had been his obsession, he had become mine just as strongly.

She's imagining what he's doing when he's not with her.  Does he think of her at all? What is his long term plan for her?  She's afraid because she never wants to leave him now.  Her prior life is simply a shadow of the person she now is, and she never wants to go back to it.  Friends, family...  What did they look like again?  She can't quite remember.  I totally understand that.  Her entire mind has been erased and been rebuilt in the way that Master wants to be.  He has obliterated and destroyed the old Emily.  She doesn't even care that he doesn't speak to her anymore.

But he didn't have to use speech.  Every touch, every caress, every lash of the whip, crop or cane.  It was all communication, a private conversation that no one else could intrude upon.  Before, my life had only been words, shallow, meaningless words dripping from my mouth with no real content.  Words for the sake of words to make me feel less alone in the world.  But I had been alone.

And now a new trick...  One day, she wakes and the door to her room is wide open.  Not knowing what to do, she continues with her morning rituals and waits in her slave position for Master.  As she waits, she sees... what is that...?  A set of car keys.  She continues to wait with fear pounding in her heart.

When Master comes to her room hours later, she still waits for him.  When he arrives, he is furious that she didn't leave.  Why would she?  How does she know that this isn't a trick of his to get her into the bad cell?  Besides, she doesn't want to leave anyway.  Why would he want to leave now???  She is exactly what he made her into.  Presumably, she's exactly what he wants now.  I really feel for her.  How can she go back to any semblance of a normal life?

He drags her through the house towards the door as she begs him not make her go.  He throws her on the couch, leaves and returns with a notebook... His

Chapter 9:
The only thing that I will say about Chapter 9 is that he tells her explicitly why and how he did to her what he did.  There's just too many possible spoilers in this chapter to discuss it much further. We also learn a few shockers about Master himself.  The main point of it:

The bastard kicked her out.

Lola:
I don't really have much to add.
It's really amazing to see the changes that take place. She is finally "comfortable" in her life. She is living it and doesn't hate it. I'm not sure how I feel about that. You get to see the level of her comfort. So when Chapter 9 comes and he kicks her out it is a huge shocker, and a huge blow to her. I felt her devastation.