Review: Abraham Lincoln: Presidential F*ck Machine

Rating: 4 Stars ****
Reviewer purchase
Buy this book: Abraham Lincoln: Presidential Fuck Machine

Blurb: Few people know that Abraham Lincoln was the greatest fuck machine of all time. His sexual prowess is unmatched in the history of American presidents. When he gets word of a nefarious plot hatched by the insane Emperor of Japan, he must learn to use his most potent power--the power of his cock!

 Little known facts about good ole Abe. He kills zombies and vampires. He is also...I mean this is probably pretty obvious...but he is also a Fuck Machine. The book opens with the Prez's woody. Rather than be rude and wake the old lady up he gets the maid, Martha, to relieve his rock hard, well, nine inch rod. Martha is such a good servant and deep throats that thing. 
"Martha practically swooned when she saw it. 'May I....may I touch it?' she asked practically swooning at the sight. 'Dear girl, don't just touch it. I want you to swallow it.'" 

Review: Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O.
Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Each moan, spank, and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O.
Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick…
In her third novel, Alice Clayton returns to dish her trademark mix of silly and steamy. Banter, barbs, and strutting pussycats, plus the sexiest apple pie ever made, are dunked in a hot tub and set against the gorgeous San Francisco skyline in this hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight.

Lola's Review: 4 Stars ****
Yummm Simon Wallbanger. I want one for Christmas. Ok. His real last name is Parker...but that's like weird. Just kidding. I'm not 12. I just like the nickname.

Comfort Food: Chapter 4 and 5 Read-a-long!

Lola's Thoughts:
Chapter 4:

"I was falling too far, losing bits and pieces of my mind. If I didn't escape soon, I knew I wouldn't be able to. In the other cell there was no hope because there were no weapons......Suddenly everything my eyes touched held a dark purpose. Shower Curtain? Strangle him. Pen? Jab him in the throat. Lamp? Knock him out." 

Is it bad that I may have LOL'd at this part. Yes, I realize I am fucked up in the head. Needless to say...I think I found humor in the fact that this is exactly how I imagine myself reacting to this situation. She imagines killing him a lot in this chapter. For various reasons, her freedom, her sanity, the safety of her family.

She bides her time. Feeling a sense of security that she can't see pinhole cameras in the ceiling. She plays along acts submissive. Losing her self more and more even if she thinks she's just acting. I think she knows better. I think at this point she has so much HOPE for escape that she doesn't see herself slipping as she plays his game.

The Siren: A review

Title: The Siren

Author: Tiffany Reisz
Genre: Erotica/Romance?/BDSM
Source: Reviewer Purchase
Star Rating: 3 Stars ***
Blurb: Notorious Nora Sutherlin is famous for her delicious works of erotica, each one more popular with readers than the last. But her latest manuscript is different—more serious, more personal—and she's sure it'll be her breakout book...if it ever sees the light of day.
Zachary Easton holds Nora's fate in his well-manicured hands. The demanding British editor agrees to handle the book on one condition: he wants complete control. Nora must rewrite the entire novel to his exacting standards—in six weeks—or it's no deal.
Nora's grueling writing sessions with Zach are draining…and shockingly arousing. And a dangerous former lover has her wondering which is more torturous—staying away from him...or returning to his bed?
Nora thought she knew everything about being pushed to your limits. But in a world where passion is pain, nothing is ever that simple. 

Lola's (Sir) review:

Seduced in the Dark

Title: Seduced in the Dark
Author: CJ Roberts
Genre: Erotica/Dark Romance
Source: Reviewer Purchase
Rating: 4 ****
The exciting, titillating, and action-filled conclusion to Captive in the Dark.

What is the price of redemption?
Rescued from sexual slavery by a mysterious Pakistani officer, Caleb carries the weight of a debt that must be paid in blood.
The road has been long and fraught with uncertainty, but for Caleb and Livvie, it’s all coming to an end.
Can he surrender the woman he loves for the sake of vengeance?
Or will he make the ultimate sacrifice?
Quote:
It seemed to Caleb, the nature of human beings revolved around one empirical truth: we want what we cannot have. For Eve, it was the fruit of the forbidden tree. For Caleb, it was Livvie.

Lori's Review:
WOW.